analysis by peri williams.
https://open.spotify.com/embed/track/4PwWESSlTwzvw9B7bmtTLS?utm_source=generator
a dissonant lullaby, forbidden and bittersweet memory, need for comfort and security, complicated happiness, remnants of what cannot return, conflicted love, yearning for simplicity and connection, disentangling and processing, capturing stillness, the importance of vulnerability and intimacy, nostalgia, an autumnal glimmer
staring down the barrel of the hot sun
shining with the sheen of a shotgun (shotgun)
carol has a little if we need some
joa has a ride if we wanna come
hanging your jeans with a clothespin
skin still wet still on my skin
mango in your mouth, juice dripping
shoulder of your shirtsleeve slipping
staring down the barrel usually means something bad is about to happen, so she must’ve always had the feeling that despite the good times they were having and the memories they were making, everything could potentially collapse, leaving her with nothing. it could also go along with the phrase ‘words shoot to kill’, meaning their arguments were consistent, they polished their fine shotgun’s (words) to use in battle (arguments).
carol most likely has weed?? to destress/calm them down, or to help the person become interested in her again by what she does or engages in.
she remembers these moments so vividly, almost as if it were a flashback. she can remember all the details, and even things that normally wouldn’t have been remembered are abnormally clear to her.
she’s filled with desire, you can feel it strongly in the line ‘skin still wet still on my skin’, almost as if she’s holding onto every piece of them she has left, as if she replays that moment over and over again in her head because its where she finds comfort and security.
she is so in awe of the person, and the way she just admires them shows it. she notices many of the six senses, taste, smell, touch… but it's all pieced together in this choppy memory of a love she can’t return to or do over again.
christmas eve with your mother and sis
don't wanna fight but your mother insists
dog's white teeth slice right through my fist
drive to the er and they put me on risk
grocery store list, now you get pissed
unchecked calls and messages
i don't wanna be the owner of your fantasy
i just wanna be a part of your family
and i don't wanna talk about anything i don't wanna talk about anything
i wanna kiss, kiss your eyes again wanna witness your eyes looking
i don't wanna talk about anyone i don't wanna talk about anyone
i wanna sleep in your car while you're driving lay in your lap when i'm crying
circle of pine and red oak
circle of moss and fire smoke
fan on the ceiling like a wheel spoke
push the clutch in and i pull the choke
wanna listen to the sound of you blinking
wanna listen to your hands soothe
listen to your heart beating
listen to the way you move
she spent christmas eve with their mother and sister, and although she tried not to argue, their mother most likely caused there to be an argument, and the mood was brought down almost immediately, causing her to become very depressed (sweet moments can unexpectedly turn sour).
‘the black dog’ is usually a symbol used for depression. the main idea is that the dog is your depression, and you need to learn how to tame it, and to keep it small and well behaved, and to prevent it from growing bigger and out of control. the line ‘dog’s white teeth slice right through my fist’ is saying that she self-harmed (cutting - dog’s white teeth), and either it was her way of putting up a fight, or she gave in, despite putting up a fight (sliced right through my fist).
she is put on risk (suicide watch) while at the hospital, either because she expressed that she was a danger to herself, or the nurses/doctors felt that she was lying about her injuries.
the rest of that summer is mainly just fighting and isolation from one another. it’s over the simplest things, such as a grocery store list, but it drives a wedge between them, leaving calls and messages unchecked. not only are they communicating irregularly, but when they do, it is negative, which makes the time in between conversations grow.
she doesn’t want to be everything for the other person, that is too much for her. she doesn’t want to be an object, someone obsessed over, or a made-up fantasy that is too good to be true. she is implying that others may long for that, but she doesn’t even want it.
instead of wanting to be something as dramatic as ‘the owner of a fantasy’, she would rather just be a part of their family. she is trying to form a healthy relationship, and she is validating that despite the challenges they are facing together, she would still want the simplicity of a stable family type relationship dynamic.
she repeatedly says that she doesn’t want to talk about anything, meaning that she would rather avoid conflict and sit in silence. she would do anything to keep their relationship intact, and she is very afraid of losing it (which explains why the title of the song is ‘anything’, her way of expressing her pain and longing of the moments passed, and possibly her worry that anything she has could be lost).
following the beginning of the chorus, the need for physical connection and desire for touch is introduced, maybe because she felt inadequate, or she was just longing for their physical embrace. she yearns for intimacy; she wants someone to know her and want her.
wanting to avoid conflict shows up again in the second half of the chorus, but she trades the word ‘anything’ for ‘anyone’. both of these lines have similar meanings, but this seems like it’s her way of reassuring her affection, and that they have her attention.
after the first two lines, she mentions how she wants to sleep in their car while they are driving and lay in their lap while she is crying. she wants to open herself up and allow herself to be vulnerable and comforted. like earlier, she desires a family type of relationship, and wants to be taken care of.
and i don't wanna talk about anything i don't wanna talk about anything
i wanna kiss, kiss your eyes again wanna witness your eyes looking
i don't wanna talk about anyone i don't wanna talk about anyone
i wanna sleep in your car while you're driving lay in your lap when i'm crying